You Are What Makes Me Feel, Not Just What I Can See

People are simply not what they look at first glance. People are what they make us feel  with their bright first glance, their right words, and the hugs that make us feel safe. They are beings who secrete healing and vital emotional power. One that is able to rid us of grief.

We have all experienced that feeling at some point in our lives. We meet someone who at first glance seems distant due to their appearance and even lack of interest. This is due to their apparent closedness, lack of spontaneity and courage. Nevertheless, after a while, certain confusing nuances peek through. Colorful and magical details that end up enticing us into a different, bold happiness.

We humans are much more than the qualities on our faces and the clothes that cover our bodies. In fact, humans have an exceptional and unique energy that transcends that other force that fills our hearts or allows oxygen to fill our lungs. More than our organic functions, those emotions determine who we are and how we interact with the world.

The way we send our feelings to others is a powerful tool. Because of its importance, it deserves our sensitive and wise care. Next, we will explain to you how to enjoy better relationships.

What we get others to feel: a mental infection

We all send psychic messages, often unnoticed. Our appearance, our gesture, or the way we move and look at others, shapes the psychic miniuniverse. In this case, in order to convey concrete information, words are not required. In fact, it would be good to remember one historical fact. Long before the development of language, people used their emotions and gestures exclusively as a means to communicate. 

For example, the facial expressions on our faces when we feel fear tell the group about the threat. Tears and an introvert posture indicate grief or pain, or a need that needs satisfaction. But after sophisticated language developed, those exaggerated gestures diminished and became unbearable. Our civilized world requires the prevention of emotions, as instinctive expressions are considered primitive. It is considered something that should be “controlled” and hidden in the most private and remote place within us.

Emotions guarantee our survival as a group

On the other hand, research in the field of social cognition shows that there is something we should keep in mind. Emotions are not simply a mechanism of relief or personal expression. Above all, they form a coping mechanism, as they are “contagious” to others. We send information to others. We wrap them up with our happiness so that they feel our joy. Or we show them the sorrows and worries of our souls to be taken care of.

This will start the engine of cooperation. Emotions and cooperation have allowed us to survive as a sport. This is the same collaboration that has paved the way for an almost perfect brain architecture where mirror cells have helped us learn, imitate, and recognize foreign emotions.

But if, for example, we choose to block emotions, if we choose not to look into the eyes of our interlocutor, or if we turn our eyes away from a suffering co-worker, we would be behaving against our own conception of evolution. By immersing ourselves in those proud islands of loneliness, we create a psychic space where only unfortunate flowers can bloom.

Makes me feel good, give me positive feelings

Oddly enough, not many studies have been done to explain how this miraculous mechanism that gives shape to this mental infection works. Until now, all we know is that what others make us feel — whether positive or negative — is regulated by a mirror cell. In this complex structure, neurologists focus their attention on the insulin, or brain island, that participates in the process and internalization of the emotional states around us.

Besides, keep in mind that these structures are very resistant to degenerative damage. This explains why a person with Alzheimer’s, for example,  is still receptive to the emotional world. Caressing, hugging, a friendly gesture, and a presence that sends serenity and love are, after all, the only language Alzheimer’s patients understand and respond to.

On the other hand, positive emotions play an important role in education. For example, a newborn begins to understand the world based on what his or her parents make him or her feel. Emotions based on physical contact, as well as love and care, encourage adequate daily development of the neurological system.

In a nutshell, positive emotions nurture and build bonds, heal fears, and build strengths in every stable and happy relationship. So let us learn to be the creators and mediators of this altruistic affection. So let us learn from that prudence based on empathy and reciprocity. Then we can intuitively perceive needs and give kindness, respect and that simple happiness engraved into everyday situations.