When You Miss Someone Who Doesn’t Miss You

Inwardly, you realize that it is unhealthy when you miss someone who in turn never thinks of you. You know it’s a mistake to constantly worry about what you would have hoped to happen instead of facing the truth. You realize that you are only causing yourself pain, but you still cannot stop. All things just remind you of the past and you can’t leave it behind.

No medicine will make you forget the past or wipe out the pain that comes from craving something that is no longer in your life. Therefore, your only option is to deal with what happened in the healthiest way possible. Suffering like this is a part of every person’s life. All of these experiences will shape who you are, and they will teach you to be tenacious and indomitable in the future.

We do not argue that suffering should always be part of learning. However, it is pointless to give up and despair when the situation feels too challenging. You are much stronger than you think and you will be able to overcome the challenges that life brings. When you reassemble the broken pieces again into an intact whole, at the same time you realize that you are stronger than before.

Don’t miss someone who doesn’t miss you

Even though it’s unhealthy to miss someone who doesn’t miss you, it’s unfortunately very common. That person may be the first thing that comes to mind in the mornings when you wake up, and your shared memories may keep you awake at night. Even during the day, every song, program, restaurant, book, or silly little thing can remind you of him.

Living in the past is not healthy. Moving forward is very important for your own well-being. However, you should understand that this is a normal and quite common problem. Everyone will always have a period of grief after loss, when a person has to deal with many varying emotions, anxiety, and mental pain.

You don’t have to feel guilty for going through the normal processes of missing another person.  However, it is important that you do not let this step take too long. If that happens, that normal process becomes pathological, something that psychologists call “frozen grief”. Even if, in such a case, one tried to convince oneself that one has made progress, the matter has not really come to a proper conclusion. This kind of limbo state leads to increased feelings of stress and anxiety, as the missed person still experiences the powerful influence of that absent person.

Why do we miss another without getting ahead?

It is important to point out the fact that going forward does not mean forgetting another. Instead, we mean that you will learn to live with memories and emotions so that they no longer cause you pain. Also keep in mind that the brain does not easily forget memories related to meaningful and powerful emotions. Your brain also needs time.

The combination of brain neurotransmitters and hormones such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are to blame for longing, as they play an important role in all close human relationships. When you are with the person you love, your body releases this wonderful chemical mixture, causing you all the intoxicating feelings  that make you enjoy the love of your loved one so immensely.

When you are no longer with this person, your brain still misses that neurochemical “dose” in order to feel good and calm. If the brain is unable to experience that same pleasure, you will feel unbalanced and anxious.

There is a solution to longing

During your life, you will miss many people in different ways. You will feel nostalgia as you reminisce about old friends and co-workers as well as the pain if you have lost someone in a traumatic way. It’s only natural to miss people who have been important to you in some way,  especially if your relationship has ended in a complicated way.

Relevant human relationships, especially romantic ones, often end unilaterally rather than by mutual agreement. Sometimes in a relationship the other party just stops loving or falls in love with someone else. Sometimes those in a relationship are simply dissatisfied with a particular trait in their spouse, which eventually leads to the termination of the relationship. In all these situations, one person has to bear the burden of one-sided love. 

There is a solution to all of this, so you don’t have to despair. While it’s not a miraculously working quick fix, it allows you to go on with your life as long as you fully commit to it. Below we explain in more detail which means have proven to be the most effective:

No contact

Despite the fact that this may seem difficult, it is very important. When you need someone, you naturally want to get as close to that person as possible or connect with them. It’s easy to think that if you only got one more chance to get in touch with another, you could win this back. But if you really want to get over your difference, you should avoid situations like this. You should also stop following him on social media and not read his comments or like the posts he writes.

Let go of all bitterness

When a relationship ends unhappily, it’s easy to feel angry or frustrated. Finding an answer to what happened can lead to either self-accusations about what you have done or failed to do in the relationship, or accusations against your ex-partner that he or she mistreated you. All of this only makes you feel worse and prevents the grief process from happening. 

New projects, new goals

When you miss someone who is no longer in your life, it draws you firmly to the past and makes you stay in that place. You can’t escape the longing and the pain it causes. You cannot move and you cannot change.

Don’t get stuck. You can mourn in peace and long for the person you have lost, but don’t let this period of grief stretch too far. Miss him just enough to get it over, and move on before these memories become too heavy a burden for you to bear.