Stop Fighting For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

We all know that doing this is not quite easy. After all, we are aware that there  is no reset button, an emergency exit, or even a window in the brain that could be opened and let in a fresh breeze to vent grief. The brain is stubborn, methodical, and tenacious. They struggle to hold on to emotional memories because it is they who leave such immense traces on our own identity.

It is said that loving a person who does not love you is equivalent to trying to light a candle with an unlit flame. And we don’t even really know why we do this and outright by force we worship someone who doesn’t love us ourselves. We persevere and oppose accepting the truth, thinking of distorted thoughts like  “if I tell him this, he might…” or  “if I change this, it is possible that…”  just as if we could accomplish something like that.

However, love is not automatic. You can’t mint a coin, press a button and get exactly what you wanted. Sometimes there is no other cure than to take a leap into the unknown,  forget all your own erroneous desires, and stop murdering yourself for the sake of someone who has gone in a different direction with other people.

When you love someone who doesn’t love you reciprocally back, you don’t get him in your mind

A little earlier, we pondered  why it’s so hard to move on to the next song and be strong, even knowing that someone doesn’t love you. The answer to this question can be found in the subtle and always equally fascinating world of neurology. To understand it a little better, check out the following example:

Let’s say you’ve spent some good days feeling like you’re getting over the gap. One occasional afternoon, though, you pass you a twinkle past an unknown person with the same fragrance that your ex-partner used. Surprisingly, you will be overwhelmed by immense sorrow that will eventually almost paralyze you and bring you to  tears.

Antoine Bechara,  a neurobiologist at the University of California, has coined the term “brain-related conflict” to describe how, when a person is repelled, the  brain continues to associate certain stimuli, images, and memories. The neural network responsible for this close and efficient relationship is located between the hippocampus and the tonsil nucleus.

It is worth bearing in mind that these structures guide and organize emotional memories. Thus,  every single experience you have experienced for you with a particular person is branded in your memory  and in addition reciprocally linked to certain stimuli that will then trigger  your memory.

So when you smell a certain perfume, see a particular photo or piece of clothing, or walk past just the restaurant you went to for dinner every weekend,  these stimuli activate the neurotransmitters in your brain and make you almost dependent on a virtually impossible love.

And it is not easy to break this connection and manage brain conflict.

Dear self, open your eyes and heal your heart

The anatomy of rejection and rejection is brutal, profound, and complex. We already know that our reluctance to turn the page in our lives is not always voluntary, but that the brain, for its part, feeds this cruel biochemical spiral.

However, neurologists clarify that over  time, these memories associated with things are always activated less frequently. The nerve connections that once caused negative emotions begin to lose their power until they form only an echo of a sad and distant melody, causing a little less pain each time you hear it than the last time.

The passage of time will also allow you to move forward in your life more  calmly, as long as you take advantage of appropriate psychological patterns of action to get yourself to stop worshiping a person who does not offer you counter-love. Below are  some strategies that can help you.

Tips for fighting survival

Beloved yourself, if he doesn’t love you, remember to love yourself more than anything else. This is the main premise that you should incorporate into your life. But  we have been taught not to give up and lose,  which makes it even more difficult to  break any  bond.

• Understand that love is not a sacrifice. It’s never worth thinking about things like  “if I stop doing this, maybe he’ll start loving me”  or  “if I change this or that about myself, then maybe he’ll like me more.” Do not do it. Don’t make emotional levels, don’t humiliate yourself, don’t ignite in flames the only thing that gives you strength: your  self-esteem.
• If he hurts you, he won’t love you. This is simple. If you are just an invisible horse in the carousel of his infidelity, selfishness, and insults, then stay away from him. Why make yourself a prisoner of his emotional torture chamber? If you flee, you will eventually realize that freedom is the best source of security and loneliness is a welcome refuge.
• In impossible love, the first thing you lose is hope. Some relationships have an expiration date and if you are fully aware that nothing you want will ever happen, you should leave the same door you walked into the situation. And do it with dignity, keeping your head upright and your heart intact.

Loving someone who doesn’t love you reciprocally back is extremely painful, but it’s even more painful to stop loving yourself for someone who doesn’t even deserve you. Be strong and wise, and always remember that you should only love what is worth loving.