Sometimes You Run Out Of Patience, Not Love

So how can someone fail to offer their own patience to the person with whom they have built a vital and loving bond, and even a vision of the rest of their lives together?

Patience is crucial in human relationships. It is a force that allows us to forgive  today, tomorrow and the next day, and to wish even more for the dream that everything will go well…

But sometimes reality collapses under its own weight before we open our eyes. Our hearts can’t just wipe out what it feels and when patience is lost, we need to get rid of all the things we were once blind to one at a time.

Some say  patience is a virtue. However, it is important to remember that our patience has its limits. We cannot live our whole lives being patient. We cannot just sit in our fields and watch from the sidelines when our rights are violated  and when our human needs for reciprocity, care, affection and recognition are ignored.

Love requires compromise, free will, and patience… But only up to a certain point.

In love, patience is not the same thing as passivity

As we said earlier, the concept of patience  is often defined as a virtue. It’s that particular ability that people have to postpone the things that are set for later that offer us satisfaction because we think the expectation will eventually bring us something even better when it comes. 

Patience can also be defined as the  ability to help us tolerate unpleasant situations over which we may or may not have control. 

Sometimes, however, patience becomes an obligation. Maybe things are bad, but  what can be done? We have to be patient. “What can we do if he behaves in a certain way? We can’t change him, so it’s better to be patient… ”

Here is the real solution to the issue. We can be patient and we can make patience our number one  because it helps us better analyze each situation. It helps us understand how to observe and how to reflect.

Therefore, this internal process should allow us to see reality exactly as it really is.

But a patient person is not a passive person. A passive person makes tolerance a way of life, allowing abuse  until he ends up personally experiencing how vulnerable his own inviolability is. This we should never allow in our lives.

The benefits of being patient, not passive

When it comes time to start and maintain a  romantic relationship, patience is one of the pillars of everyday life that needs to be realized and taken into account. Clearly, there is no particular reason why we may feel attracted to each of our better half’s perspectives, behaviors, or habits, but just because it is doesn’t mean we should act impulsively.

We are patient and we respect and tolerate because we also love. We also know that in every relationship, it takes time for things to be reconciled, for everything to be accepted and for the needs of each party to be understood.

Patience should be reciprocal and should be practiced almost as if it were a continuous exercise. “I am patient with you because I respect and love you because I recognize you as a human being and I know that loving is not only respecting our common or similar qualities, but also respecting our differences.”

Thus,  patience, in turn, requires emotional clarity. We should know where the boundaries are and understand when moments of patience are required.

There is no need to be passive when the demands of selfishness are met. We should not close our eyes to what exhausts us, let alone be apathetic about the emotional pain these gaps cause. Contempt and contempt, as well as all other subtle exploitation like these ,  takes place through toxic and profane words.

At this point, patience should not be exercised, but the veil should be pulled aside to reveal the truth.

What happens when patience runs out?

When patience ends, disappointment takes its place. At this point, we are aware of  our own reality and all its small nuances. We are now able to see clearly everything that is positive and everything that is negative. However, this does not mean that we should end our relationship immediately.

This means it’s time to have a conversation, put that situation in the spotlight and say what we feel and what we need. Do not try to avoid the problem. If committing to that relationship means anything to us, we must give our best to hold on to it.

After all, in order for a relationship to flourish and heal itself from what was missing or what was harmful,  both parties must put in the effort to fix it. The moment one person offers more than another, and this other offers only explanations, patience arrives at its conclusion and disappointment turns into bottomless cancer.

Patience is not the ability to wait, but rather the ability to understand that we deserve better.

Photos provided by: Anne Soline, Виктория Кирдий