Silence Is The Perpetrator’s Biggest Accomplice
Silence is always the perpetrator’s greatest accomplice. That’s where he finds his best getaway. There, all his humiliating aggression and every one of his blows is sheltered. These are later disguised as “I promise this is the last time”.
These promises turn into smoke when they sense a new “bump”, or when you disagree with them, or when they feel the need to prove their power. Simply put, perpetrators suffer from chronic insecurity.
The perpetrator always seeks your forgiveness. But he does not hesitate in continuing this same exploitation and harassment. The only way to escape this circle of power is by taking away his best accomplice: silence.
Virginia Woolf said in her diaries that few things can be as dangerous as a house, a home. From the moment the doors, windows and curtains close, no one can guess what is going on inside. Drama, aggression and pain that fills the space inside the walls and hearts. Like pillows that fill the tears of those whose minds are wounded.
Silence is and will always be the best refuge for those who attack and offend. You need to break the silence and give each victim a voice.
Partners of the perpetrator
Hidden violence is common in our society; be it a public attack on a woman or a couple at home. According to a UN study, it is estimated that 35% of women around the world have been victims of violence. Nearly 70% of them have experienced assault at some point. These are the facts we should consider.
The perpetrator may be educated, may have a good job, or may be unemployed. He can be young or old, and of course, he can be a man or a woman. Sociological models or professionals are often unable to help identify them. Especially if you keep one important thing in mind: the perpetrator is often valued socially. In fact, for other people, he is usually the “ good guy”.
Problems arise when, just like Virginia Woolf said, the doors close and no one or almost no one knows what’s going on inside. For he who uses violence expresses it only to those to whom they have a very intimate, caring bond: his partner, his children…
Perpetrators use aggression as a tool of their power. They are unable to perceive their partner as a person with rights or needs. As a person who deserves respect. For they are the “object they own,” part of themselves. Therefore, every pursuit of independence results in them feeling like a victim of violence. Their masculinity feels vulnerable, their power status shaky.
The partner chooses to surrender, he is silent and falls into a submissive relationship. To one where psychological violence and sometimes also physical violence leaves wounds that cannot be seen at a glance. It is not easy to take that step towards reporting and breaking the silence. For believe it or not, the victim does not always feel understood.
In many cases, they will face a close circle of family members and friends. They never really believe that violence and aggression will rob their lives.
For their part, social services and centers for victims know that many people are afraid to make an official report because they are afraid of “ possible retaliation ” from the perpetrator.
Undoubtedly, these are very sensitive situations where the fear of breaking the silence is the perpetrator’s best partner, his protection and his shield of strength. It is everyone’s responsibility to go out and change attitudes. We need to get the victims out of their personal spaces, full of torture and humiliation.
For no victim should ever feel alone. For everyone has a piece of the puzzle in this society. A place where we can report, make a voice, and be receptive to all those suspicious signs that suggest that a woman, man, or child may be suffering from some form of violence.
Be brave, break the silence.
