My Love For You Goes Beyond Fear Of Affection, Habit And Loneliness

Consciously loving means first loving oneself. We then get rid of the unhealthy affection or cold emptiness that others are forced to alleviate. Loving in a mature way means giving ourselves freely to another as an act of true honesty,  not to alleviate loneliness, and certainly never in a way where we lose our dignity.

Einstein himself once said that love can never be explained by science because a biological, chemical, or fascinating thing can never be determined or observed under a microscope. J if something neurology has proven, then that love is addictive. 

Advances in the field of neuroscience can, in many cases, banish the sense of romance and the poetic aura that can wrap our human relationship in a wrapper like a poisonous candy. Love is steeled with dopamine, so many times we drift like intoxicated  into a covenant that will cost us greatly. All just to escape love or even to see the harm it does to us.

We know that love is blind. We can drift into a relationship based on a simultaneously repressive and powerful, crazy attraction. However,  it is our duty to open our eyes to see our true selves first. A relationship that makes us impersonal and removes all of our innermost selves, where self-esteem and self-confidence are located, is not healthy.

Love based on affection is a mere addiction

More research has been done on heartache than on obsessive and addictive love. There is a very simple explanation for this: historically and culturally, a picture has been given in which excessive, passionate, domineering, and blind love is admirable, positive, and even inspiring.

We have to admit…  we have all been sold on the idea that the best is all or nothing type of love. One where we merge two halves of the heart to make them one whole. The kind where we are air that another breathes. We are saved from our fears and healed from our loneliness. However, we need to be very careful with these ideas, because they all hide something humorous, something bittersweet, and a ruthless poison of deception.

We need to keep in mind that relationships based on tender affection are crazy. They all hold a rubber in their hand that can rubberize all of our “self” nature: self-esteem, self-perception, self-esteem, and so on. Moreover,  when we become subject to such partner-dependent love, as strange as it sounds, it is not quite easy to see clearly what is blinding us. Warnings from others are irrelevant. It’s of no use that they say we’re not “people of that type.”

Love based on affection is stubborn and blind, and has no head or tail. So when a big and broken heart needs its drug, the side effects are relentless.

I love you beyond fears, loneliness and habit

Neurologists say  love is obsessive because it is regulated by serotonin.  It is even inclined to be bold, for both the cortex and the almond nucleus lose little control of their “chain of commandments.” Thus,  just because much of our behavior is the result of a chemical shipwreck does not mean that we cannot love in a healthy way  and be in a happy, satisfying, and total relationship.

The best thing to do in a case like this is to invest in your own personal growth first,  and to manage your fears and become a mentally mature person instead of looking for someone to feed your needs forever.

Just as Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, love does not constantly look at another. In the end, however, we lose all perspective. Consciously loving is the ability to harmonize our hearts so that together we can see the beauty of the world, always on the same path united. It can be called “awareness of being a couple”.

This awesome perspective, “the consciousness of being a couple,” is based on three Ks that we should consider for a moment:

• Compromise. The compromise is based not only on a full, respectful affection for the other person, but also for ourselves. We should take care of our own mental well-being so that we can dedicate ourselves completely to love.
• Communication. All happy and stable couples have the ability to communicate when the need so requires. They do it with determination, actively listening, and with empathy and intimacy that leave no room for selfishness or blackmail.
• Correspondence. Correspondence is just reciprocity, where we understand that  love is not just about giving, but also about receiving. Being a couple is not a competition for strength, but rather a team that is able to agree. It is an alliance where both win and where the personal growth of a loved one is seen as an investment in a relationship.

In conclusion, we should understand that  the variables of love are not sufficient in the equation of being a couple. A relationship is like a muscle that needs to be exercised with a sense of humor, appreciation, and personal freedom. We should be able to encourage a healthy detachment based on the absence of fear, partner-dependent and, above all, independence  .