Living With Guilt
We all make mistakes, and it’s normal for us to feel bad about making them. The problem is that if this makes us feel guilty about something we have done in our past.
Guilt is a negative feeling caused by us doing something wrong or carelessly. Why is it so hard for us to accept these things and let go of guilt?
Many blame themselves for things they should not blame themselves for. Others are downright looking for things to feel guilty about. Once a certain kind of bond has been established with a sense of guilt, there will probably be problems in the permit. It means that something is tormenting us and we don’t seem to get away with it.
We want to get hurt
As we mentioned earlier, many people are downright seeking guilt. These people feel the need to suffer. Why? Probably because they have experienced tough times and situations in their past that they could not control. Often, these situations raised questions such as “why me?” or “what did I do wrong?”
The above situations create uncertainties as the person has not been able to control them. What kind of consequences does this again have on our psyche?
Then this insecure person starts looking for something he can control. Usually it’s something of the same type he’s already experienced. For example, a person who has been exploited may feel a sense of belonging to the person who is causing a sense of inferiority here.
This tendency is a bit masochistic, but that person is unable to control it. He is looking for something that makes him feel the same way what the previous situation in him caused.
We hurt ourselves
A person who lives with guilt punishes himself. He may do so physically, but especially he does so mentally. He criticizes himself. He thinks too much about what he has done wrong and what he should have done better.
Such self-criticism stems from the flaws we have built in our own minds. For example, a person who has been exploited may think that he or she should have been more adaptable or that he or she should not have been allowed to say certain things.
This is awesome for people who manipulate and mentally exploit others, for in this way the other bears his guilt. This other person becomes sad and apea. He doesn’t know how to act and he doesn’t seem to see the real thing.
Maybe he would need time or a crucial situation that would make him understand what it really is all about. That he would understand that the reason is not his, and it never was. That he has felt miserable for no reason.
We hurt other people
A person with guilt often does not want to hurt himself alone. Many times he tends to hurt other people as this makes them feel higher and stronger. Sometimes it’s not enough for them to hurt themselves. Questions like the one above, “why does this happen to me and not to someone else?” may make them feel the need to share the bad thing they are experiencing.
In addition, when an insecure person feels that he has the power to hurt other people, it gives him a certain sense of security. His own well-being improves if others also suffer. They think that because they have had to suffer, others deserve part of it as well.
Often a person who has been hurt wants revenge at some point. It makes him feel awesome and powerful, even if it is a false force. When he understands what he has done, he feels miserable. He sinks into guilt, even though that situation was not under his control.
This will free yourself from guilt
A person who lives with guilt must first be aware of his situation before he can figure it out. The following steps and techniques may be helpful here:
Ask for forgiveness
If you suffocate, apologize and go on with your life. Making mistakes is human, and we should not prevent ourselves from moving forward. Be genuinely sorry and then go on with your life without the mistake affecting the course of your life.
Repair the damage
If possible, try to repair the damage you have caused, even if you do not forgive it or even if you are not believed. Change negativity to positive. Feel good because you have done everything you can to repair the damage you have caused.
Dress guilt into words
If you feel bad about something, express that feeling! The fact that we keep things inside feeds guilt. The things we dare not say out loud.
Our goal is to be happy, not unhappy. So why not do something that can help us avoid problems in the future? Do we want to suffer instead?
We need to make changes to how we act, and we must not be afraid to put it into words that bothers us, makes us feel bad, or what we find unacceptable.
