I’m Not Tired Of Love, I’m Tired Of Disappointments
We are all a little broken. We carry our broken parts, trying to put together the impossible puzzles of our hearts. Always longing for us to offer love once again. We want to love and be loved. However, disappointments have burned us too much…
It is often said that when we are ready to do anything for someone else, we should always be prepared for them to disappoint us at some point, in some way, as if pain is always part of affection, love, and caring. But this is not entirely true.
Our emotional and social brains need the security of a secure bond. Security, in the end, ensures our survival. This explains why we feel pain when we fail. Something inside us breaks, snaps. The secure bond disappears, leaving only a vacuum.
It is possible that in some situations we will build our expectations too high for something or someone. That may be true, but we all need some assurance that we will not be hurt. The people we offer our love to will not disappoint us or break this bond around just.
No matter how much people tell us about it, no one is prepared to accept disappointment as “normal” in our everyday relationships.
Offering love despite sorrow and pain
We are used to hearing that disappointments are not the result of inappropriate behavior, but rather the result of false expectations that a person has for other things and people. There is no point in this sentence, at least in certain situations. Especially when the behavior has been particularly cruel, unexpected and painful.
When you have a good friendship with someone, you don’t expect to be criticized behind your back. Or when someone arrives at old age, they don’t expect to be abandoned by their children. When someone loves and thinks they are loved, they never expect to be abused or humiliated by their partner or loved one.
Some disappointments are authentic, sincere, deep and barren. Giving love after these vital experiences is an almost impossible task. You need time. You will need time needles to suture your wound. To repair “broken pieces” that your brain, believe or not, interprets as genuine wounds.
According to a study published in the journal Proceedings of the Natural Academy of Sciences by emotional psychologist Ethann Kross, the brain interprets rejections, betrayals, and deep disappointments as shocks, burns, or traumatic physical injuries.
The area of the brain that is activated in most of these events is called the Insula, or insular cortex, which is directly related to pain. All of this proves that disappointing to the brain is the breaking of the bond that brought security. It represented the trust we had in something or something, and it is now gone. Offering love after such experiences is not easy. However, it can be a good medicine for wound healing.
Don’t get tired of offering love and loving yourself
Some disappointments don’t hurt you deeply. They’re just accepted, like a wound caused by a rose spike or a broken Mug that has been repaired with glue and love, as it’s your favorite. We heal, we forgive, and we move forward. We should not let our hearts be petrified. For if you let this happen, that heart of stone will fall forever into the cold source of fear, vulnerability, and failure.
Authentic love does not hurt. Genuine friendship does not disappoint. He who truly loves you may disappoint you once, but never again. Therefore, I suggest that you consider for a moment these simple strategies that can help you get over the complex stages of your life.
Disappointment causes suffering, but it also makes us feel vulnerable. When someone feels broken, he or she needs to receive love instead of giving it. He needs it above all from himself so that he can rebuild himself, trust in himself with all his sincerity, strength, and self-esteem. Such a situation can only be achieved through time and work. Work that focuses on our own innermost being.
In addition to time, we need to control three basic emotions: rage, pessimism, and inability. Disappointments can tear off our roots and make us think that nothing will ever be the same again. Break these accidental three horsemen out of your heart as soon as you can.
Accept, on the one hand, that you did not deserve what happened to you, but on the other hand, also accept that you do not deserve eternal suffering. Do not choose resentment for your daily diet, do not prescribe for yourself the medicine of endless suffering. Its side effects can be overwhelming.
Instead, remember something priceless: remember to choose yourself. Choose yourself above all else. Over all your fears, insecurities and beauty. Choose to be hopeful, and most importantly, continue to cultivate what is truly valuable in life: offering love. Choose to believe it despite all your disappointments, believe that there are still good people.
