I’m Not Selfish When I Think Of Myself, I Love Myself

There always comes a moment in life when we finally take that big step. We finally free ourselves from certain situations, things, and people that don’t make us feel good at all, but rather cause harm. This show of personal courage is often seen as selfishness, when in reality it shines with healthy self-love.

It must also be borne in mind that this psychological concept is never fully understood. Traditionally, self-love is associated with certain narcissistic concepts and individualistic egoism, which seeks only self-interest. This is not true at all.

There is a widespread opinion among psychologists and emotional experts that people in general “are learned in rational matters but uncivilized in emotional matters”. Suppressing your own feelings and needs is not healthy. Nor is it healthy to be unable to respect or empathize with the needs of others.

You are not selfish if you say “no”. No one should be stigmatized for having the courage to make a decision and say “now is enough”. We would like you to consider all this!

Lack of self-love is fuel for fears

Lack of self-love is fuel for fears and makes us vulnerable. To understand this idea a little better, we need to step into the fascinating world of neuroscience. According to a study by the University of Dartmouth (New Hampshire, USA), the brain area associated with self-esteem and self-love would be a frontostriatal neural pathway .

The greatest activity in this powerful area of ​​the brain is our self-esteem. The most common misconception among people is that people with good self-esteem and a strong love for themselves are often the most intelligent and successful.

This is not the case, or at least they are not related. In fact, researchers agree on one thing: the activity of the frontostriatal nerve pathway reflects our mental health. When activity is lower, people have more fears, insecurities, and a higher risk of depression in the long run.

From a psychic perspective, people who don’t care and value themselves in the way they deserve are looking for others to fulfill that task. In this way, they cover up their own shortcomings “to feel safe”. They need recognition and love in a very intense way. These people, who are far from “self-sufficiency” and lack a good dose of self-love, are dependent on the will of other people. This is how slow self-destruction begins.

A subtle connection between self-esteem and self-love

Sometimes we fall into the mindset that it is always better to take care of things outside of us than to listen to our internal needs. This is sometimes due to upbringing, different environments, or the people around us, and it can damage our self-esteem.

The worst happens when this external conditioning causes us to need the approval of others to regain our mental balance. All of this causes us to live our lives as broken people and in so many pieces that we must “prune ourselves together” even more according to other people’s instructions and views until we are completely unraveled and empty.

We explain below how this can be avoided.

How to “ignite” self-love

When we have a damaged self-esteem, the most important thing is to be aware of this “wound,” the “fracture” that has caused us to become detached above all from ourselves.

• Practice psychic compensation: appeasing fears, answers to emptiness problems, and easing worries are not always to be found outside of us or in the people around us. You have to look for mental compensation within you. The love that can help you in such cases is definitely love for yourself.
• To “ignite” self-esteem, we need to consider the following: trying to please others is exhausting, and doing it every day for the rest of our lives can destroy us. It’s not genuine, it’s not healthy. No one should be considered selfish or cynical if they say what they think and act honestly out of respect, but also know how to mark boundaries to protect themselves.

• In order to raise our self-esteem and to have enough self-love, we should consider ourselves valuable people. And we should do so constantly, despite mistakes and failures. For these errors do not define you; the decisive factor is whether you will rise again after the fall.

Instead of comparing yourself to others or letting malicious criticism influence you, don’t forget to nurture love for yourself. For as Jiddu Krishnamurti sometimes said, religion should simply be that one learns to love oneself.