How To Fulfill Desires Without Restrictions
We are at odds with our hopes and the constraints imposed. Life constantly challenges us, and we must decide which ones to ignore and which to face. However, in exceptional situations, we go through extreme situations. These situations put us to the test and in many cases they show us that we are much stronger than we thought.
In some cases, our wishes never come true, and we have no idea why. In this article, we will try to find out some reasons for this. As you read on, it becomes clear where these unexplained limitations come from and why they prevent us from achieving what we want.
Satisfying our desires
First, we need to understand that our desires arise as a result of wanting to achieve something we don’t have. Sometimes it’s just simply that we want something to be a certain way, or we want to have it at a certain time in our lives. Plus, we feel that whatever this thing is, it’s missing from our lives, and we feel like we need it despite the limitations.
Filling this void means that we need to adopt some kind of methodology or strategy. If we succeed, everything will be fine. The problem arises when we realize we didn’t even get what we expected. What we thought we really wanted a lot wasn’t really what we wanted.
This result is just as frustrating as when we have worked really hard to achieve a personal goal but still failed to achieve it. In fact, sometimes we don’t satisfy the desires we fight the most at all. While we use all the resources we have, we just don’t seem to be moving forward. Our goals and objectives always seem to be out of our reach.
It feels like reality would require us to go in the opposite direction to our intuition and reasoning. As much as we try, we never seem to achieve that goal. So what’s going on in the background? What is this insurmountable obstacle that means we cannot get over our limits?
Messages that affect our desires
We are often not sure what we really want. We are not only influenced by collective desires expressed in advertising, for example, but also by comments from family and friends. The truth is that while these comments may be given for our best, they may not meet our real needs.
The family is often like an assembly line for expectations. From the moment we are born, a kind of “ideal” is formed for us. If we are the eldest in the family, then we have a duty. If we are the youngest, we have to adapt to the rules. And so on with different things like gender or appearance. The things a family goes through when we come into the world also have a big impact on our lives.
After all, we are the result of other people’s wishes. It is the desire that made our lives possible. We were somewhat coveted because otherwise we probably wouldn’t have been born. And if the same desire had not continued, then we would not have survived the first years either.
But the desire that made us born is not always clear or healthy. Despite this, there was no choice in our lives other than to bow to the wishes of others. Part of the growth process is to free ourselves from that burden and understand the desire that made our lives possible, and also to determine the extent to which these expectations are consistent with our personal ideals and limitations.
Commandments and prohibitions
We live in a world where it seems that everyone is able to give an expert opinion on what our desires “should” be. Of course, all of this also depends heavily on where we live and the environment in which we grow up. Good and evil, what should be hoped for and what should not be, to some extent, decided even before we were born.
During childhood, a number of right and wrong have been written into our lives. Some of them are very clear. They will tell you what you “should” be like. They will reward you when you reconcile your life to their standards, and you will be punished if you don’t. This is how you learn certain behaviors that are implanted in you, and they become habits. In addition to this range of direct commands, there are also a number of disguised commands that are much more difficult to identify.
Commandments of the subconscious
Imagine a mother supporting her son who feels extremely sad. You see them and even if your mother says nothing to you, you feel like you owe her something. Maybe he expects you to comfort them, relieve him of frustration, loneliness, or pain. Maybe he’s trying to tell you that. And so, barely even realizing it, you embrace his expectations of your life as an unconscious command.
It is also likely that anyone with such a mother will have difficulty defining and fulfilling their own desires. They feel that in their search for their own independence, they are damaging their mother’s feelings. Or if they are happy, then they will betray him. But because all of this happens subconsciously, they probably aren’t even aware of it. This feeling is often reflected in them and it weakens them to hesitate and live a life with no goals.
Winning the battle of desire and limitations
If you feel you are unable to determine what you wanted to be, it is very likely that one or more of these subconscious commands are valid in your life. The same is true when we have defined a desire properly, but as much as we try to fulfill it, we will never be able to do it.
The keys to understanding what is happening to you may be in your childhood and in the wishes and desires of the people around you. You may be able to identify some of the planted expectations yourself. You may be able to consciously reject them and differentiate yourself from them.
To win the battle between your conscious will and the limitations of the subconscious, you must first identify these hidden forces at work in your life. To do this, you need to do a self-assessment, and in such situations, therapeutic help can be a valuable ally. It is usually a very successful way to find limitations. With therapy, you can really become aware of them and reduce or eliminate their power in your life.
