How To Bridge The Gap Through And Over?
Who wouldn’t have suffered their way through the painful separation? And how do we act after that? Sometimes we are not very mature and we collapse, or try to blame the other party. Indeed, many kinds of emotions bubble right under our skin.
Knowing and being aware of the steps we go through after ending a relationship can help you handle the situation better and go through the divorce process in a more developmental way. After all, is it really the case that time heals all wounds ?
1. Denial
This is the first step. The difference is unexpected, probably unwanted, and for this reason it raises feelings of denial and rejection. What if you were lied to, deceived, or if your partner did the worst possible things you could even imagine? You don’t care about them, they’re just irrelevant side issues. In your head, only good memories will continue to live at this stage of denial.
During this first phase, people lie to themselves. They think that maybe it is just a more pitiful phase, a crisis that will go away on its own and find out for itself sooner or later. Unfortunately, they are lying to themselves.
2. Rage
The next step in this fight and denial is rage. This happens when we become aware and aware of our differences. There is no return. But beware! Be careful not to try to skip this step, as it is quite essential and necessary. Experiencing some degree of rage is a necessary step in coping with the end of a relationship. Without it, it will be much more difficult to move forward and reach a decision on the matter.
Nervousness and anger generally frighten us, and we usually try to avoid it. But don’t stifle it, as it may prevent you from moving forward in your future relationship. So get angry!
3. Counseling
When people are on their deathbed, some try to negotiate with God to save their lives. In the event of a divorce, this negotiation will take place either with our partner or with ourselves. But is it worth it?
“There are two stages in a relationship that happen almost immediately after each other: one where it is best to agree immediately after a dispute, as the agreement cannot be delayed for too long. And the second, when it is best to use the first possible dispute as a pretext for separation, because it is no longer preventable. ”
What are you actually negotiating about? Maybe you go through different options to avoid the difference : an open relationship, a long distance relationship, etc. How often does this kind of negotiation and trading actually work? Depends entirely on the pair.
4. Depression
If the negotiation doesn’t work, then the moment will come when you will break up. Now you know that whatever you do is that relationship is over and there is just no going back. It took long enough to internalize this ! After going through denial, rage and negotiation, you are ready to accept the situation and that the resignation process is inevitable. Now the difference is even harder to face and you plunge into the vortices of depression.
It is important that you rely on people who care about you. They will help you overcome your grief. Try to eat well and get enough sleep. Keep yourself healthy even if you don’t feel like it matters much.
You can allow yourself a few days of solitude, tears and darkness to keep you company as you close your room. But don’t let it go on for too long. Find power wherever you can and assemble yourself !
5. Approval
It is important that you go through all the stages of the difference completely and completely. Pausing them isn’t helpful and will only make the next time an even more horrible experience. Likewise, the negotiation phase may or may not be helpful, this mainly depending on who and what you are like. If the negotiation works, but the relationship is no longer the same, you’re probably doing a lot more harm than good by continuing.
Once you have survived each step, the only task left is to actually accept the difference. After all the anger and crying, you are finally okay again! You can see your ex-partner without feeling miserable. The world is no longer crumbling around you.
The divorce process is over, you have matured and learned from it. The first difference is the most difficult, but will help you deal with future differences more thoughtfully and more mature.
Can you identify with these steps? Do you think anything could be missed? Tell us about your experiences of ending and ending a relationship! Coping with the difference and growing through it makes each of us better people.
