How Dementia Affects The Family: Conflict Management

In recent years, life expectancy has risen significantly: we are living longer and better lives. This is clearly positive. But it also means the emergence of problems that did not arise before.

One of these is dementia. Aging in some cases brings with it cognitive decline. This complicates solitary living and daily activities. In fact, diseases such as dementia are the biggest cause of dependence on other people in the West. How, then, does this situation affect the family?

Conflicts when one family member has dementia

All families go through conflicts in their daily lives. Usually, they can be solved, at least somehow, depending on the problem-solving abilities of each family member. But when one family member suffers from dementia, quarrels and tension can increase further.

This is because dementia is associated with many stressors that did not exist before. First, there is not always enough information about the disease, and in addition, the progression of the disease is difficult to predict. This creates uncertainty for the family.

On the other hand, caring for a dementia patient can be costly, especially as it may require hiring outside help or, for example, obtaining care in a nursing home.

Conflicts can arise because one family member requires so much resources and time that there is no more left if another family member needs help.

Finally, disputes also often arise over how a patient with dementia should be treated. Some may feel that the right decisions have not been made about them and that they have been made selfishly rather than in the best interests of the patient.

Why do these conflicts persist?

Now that we know the causes of conflicts, we need to understand why they may remain unresolved. Then we can learn to deal with them.

Communication problems are the biggest reason why family members cannot find a solution that satisfies everyone. This communication problem often causes some to have difficulty expressing their feelings and thoughts about the disease. They are afraid to ask for help, and this can lead to disputes.

In addition, children or other family members may have had problems with a person who has fallen ill in the past. This can create guilt and make some family members react more aggressively than others.

Finally, children may end up competing with each other to prove that they are the best caregiver.

What can be done to resolve conflicts?

When a family member has dementia, it causes a complicated situation for the whole family. However, it is possible to minimize conflicts.

To do this, it is important to change all the detrimental dynamics associated with caring for a dementia patient. It is essential to work on communication. The ability to express feelings and opinions about illness helps resolve disputes.

In addition, it should be remembered that family members who communicate and like each other are better able to support each other.

Flexibility in changing roles and routines in treating a loved one with dementia means greater support.

Decisions must be learned to be considered. All of this will help the family adapt much better to dementia and minimize the suffering caused by this terrible disease.

Photos: Cristian Newman, Tiago Muraro and Alex Boyd