Forget, Or Learn To Live With It
Can we really forget what once harmed us? Are we forgetting the thing or are we just pushing it aside so we can live without pain? Forgetting may not be a matter of will, but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t help our memory.
We have all experienced the situations, relationships, and times that made us happy. But in time, happiness will also come to an end. Someone disappears from our lives, love ends, or too much distance takes victory. What can we do to keep our memories from hurting us so much?
Perhaps the first thing we should keep in mind is that forgetting the “cold chicken” doesn’t work. The stronger we shout against a particular memory, the more it bursts into our minds over and over again. The memory exists, what happened happened. It may change shape, but it is still present. The most useful thing would be to learn to live with it without pain.
We can give the idea a new meaning. We can incorporate it into our lives without producing pain. We can forget or learn to live with it.
One of the most rewarding internal dialogues reads as follows: “It made me happy, I learned from what happened and I still remember good moments. If I try to forget it, it gets an even more prominent place in my mind and more power to evoke negative emotions. Everything that is part of my past is now part of my story and therefore forgetting or deleting something is not something I would like to waste my time on. ”
Just because you’re not talking about something doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten
Even if we try very hard to displace things that cause us mental pain, we are unlikely to succeed. Closing yourself, severing social relationships, or not talking about pain because of rage and unforgiveness; none of these are the same as forgetting.
Putting harmful things on the shelf also doesn’t mean forgetting. In that case, you simply don’t express them in a healthy way. Unfortunately, they are still there. Boxing against things just means our memories aren’t in a safe place. Our memories hurt us even if we attacked them.
When we forget, nothing hurts us anymore. We no longer remember what happened or can experience what we experienced at that very moment. However, that does not mean that we would throw the matter aside, remove it completely from our lives. That would be a completely impossible task. We’re happy to not have a button that would send our unwanted memories to the trash.
Instead, we need to try to deal with what is really in our hands. We can reflect the value of our memory, save it the way we want, and consider why it still hurts us.
You have the opportunity to process your experiences and not give them the power to control you. We are more than our memories; we are the ones who give memories a purpose. We are more than the sum of our thoughts, we are the ones who give them form.
It’s still there, but it doesn’t hurt anymore
When we reflect and process things, our memories are with us. We remember the time we spent with our grandparents, our first love, the games we played with friends, the trips we made to other cities, the warm summer nights… These memories are still with me, detached from my negative memories. In fact, they are much more relevant in themselves.
It won’t hurt anymore. We have learned that forgetting a “cold chicken” only causes frustration. We don’t want to forget good things, only those parts that caused annoyance. This is a process that requires intelligence, time and patience.
On the other hand, the reason for our pain is that it happened and we felt it. It hurts us because we are alive. Let’s not push it out of our minds. What if we gave it a new meaning and a place. Let it be, but diminish its significance and not let it take us any further away. Let’s make it part of our story… in a new way. Forget or learn to live with it – the choice is yours.
