Family Care, And Doing It Right, Is Not Easy
Somehow one day your parents won’t be able to do everything themselves. People who have always seemed invincible are now at a stage in life that we call old age. And you have to take care of them.
Suddenly, you find yourself taking responsibility for an obligation you didn’t want. About something you never thought you would have to do.
But you love your parents and they have given you a lot. How could you not take care of them now that they need you? After all the sacrifices they have made to give you a good life… The truth is that you become anxious and frustrated when you have to be in a situation like this. Does that mean you’re a bad daughter or son?
Stress caused by family care
Giving family care to someone who can’t do it alone takes all the attention and can cause tremendous stress.
On the other hand, we encounter our loved ones who are no longer what they used to be. We will see how the problems only increase. Behavior changes and comes with memory problems as well as physical and mental impairment.
So we need to keep an eye on them. We need to make sure they get food and that their personal hygiene is in order.
All of this may not be very pleasant, and we start to get annoyed that we have to do it. So we do it apathetically and not very well.
Stress does not end with family care alone. It also extends to other areas of our lives. We may also have problems with work, money, relationships, or family.
The price of family care
It is normal for negative feelings such as anxiety, anger or sadness to occur. Or even a sense of guilt for feeling the situation is too much. A sense of guilt for wanting to be somewhere else that is not related to family care. These things combine with our moral duty to care for our parents.
On the other hand, it can also sabotage our human relationships. Whether it was a lack of time with others or creating conflicts when we raised the issue. Then the real downward spiral begins.
Even on a physical level, there are endless problems that can arise. From many psycho-physiological illnesses (physical illnesses caused or exacerbated by mental or psychological factors) to problems related to self-care, such as their relocation.
How can we ease the burden of family care?
In today’s world, there are a lot of people who take care of their parents. However, why don’t we all suffer from the psychological, social and physical problems we mentioned? Because everyone’s resources and situations are completely different, just like with any other psychological illness.
Strategies against stress are extremely important to protect and prevent us from consuming ourselves to the end. It’s not so much about what happens but more about what we do and how we face it.
Wandering in self-pity and wondering how badly we are doing in it or trying to avoid the situation will not help us.
Instead, it is more helpful to look for the best solution and act on it without being afraid of making a mistake. After all, we all make mistakes. That’s the way we learn.
But in addition to how a person manages a situation, we must not forget another big source of help, the social support circle. Take advantage of your other relationships, ask for help with different tasks, ask for understanding and love… it can really ease your burden. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others!
Photos provided by Jake Thacker, JD Mason and Cathal Mac An Bheatha.
