Don’t Let Negative Experiences Control Your Life

For some reason, negative experiences are the ones that usually leave bigger marks on us. It seems that when things go well, we go with the flow and are barely aware of our own existence. Often we only begin to appreciate things when everything turns against us.

Negative experiences are essential in our lives. They can help get our lives back in order, teach us to make better choices, and differentiate between things we like and dislike.

In short, all experiences, but especially negative ones, help us develop into better people. But what happens if it is not? What if these experiences guide my life?

When my experiences guide me

You may feel that your negative experiences make your life worse instead of improving it.

Maybe one of the following ideas feels familiar to you:

• If someone humiliates me in public because of what someone says, I avoid saying what I think so that it doesn’t happen again.
• If my ex-spouse accuses me of divorcing me, maybe it’s better for me to be more cautious and submissive in my next relationship.
• I always try to think like others so that I am not looked at strangely and is accepted.

These and many other situations reflect our inherent tendency to seek pleasure and avoid the pain that negative experiences can cause us.

Sometimes, however, because of our fears, we end up putting a mask on our faces that actually does nothing but hide what we haven’t been able to fix.

Such masks show us as people we are not, instead of helping us solve our problems and continue to grow.

I dictate my own life

While negative experiences can hurt us greatly, we need to avoid them starting to control our lives.

We can decide how we are going to live our lives, how we act, and how we move forward. Our experiences should move us forward and make us better, but they should never pull us back.

So how should we deal with our negative experiences?

• Avoid self-pity. Don’t blame yourself for things you shouldn’t blame yourself for. What has happened is already a thing of the past. It is time to look to the future with confidence and a positive mind.
• Don’t let your emotions drag you along with  sadness that you can’t escape. Feel your feelings, but don’t let them attack you like a tidal wave. Shout out, “That’s enough!” And move on.
• Don’t let your thoughts take you with them as they will spin you over and over again so that you are confused and paralyzed. Stop your thoughts and start acting.
• Make decisions actively in your life.  Allow yourself to be the one who lives your life, and avoid negative experiences that would force you to change your path.

It is true that negative experiences create uncertainty, doubt, discomfort, and sadness… But all of this can be overcome, and you have the strength to do so.

If you want to get out of the situation, you have to start fighting the emotions that are trying to get a grip on you and pull you along like a powerful current. Avoid confusing thoughts that do nothing but paralyze you. Instead, focus seriously on what you really want.

You are the one who decides. Don’t let negative experiences take control of your life. It’s okay to be unsure, but don’t let it take hold of you.

Think of your negative experiences as situations you can learn from. Of all the negative situations, it is possible to find something positive, something that only you can find and something that only you can choose to experience.