Develop Your Conscious Listening Skills

When someone talks to us, he expects to get our attention. He wants us to put our worries aside for a moment so we can focus on his story. At that moment, he expects us to listen consciously. Conscious listening means selflessly directing our cognitive functions to another person. This explains why some see conscious listening as a sign of generosity.

We’ve all talked to someone who has interrupted us with phrases like, “In my case, it’s different because…”, “You should have done it instead the next way…” or “I went through the same thing when…”. In some cases, the comments from those who interrupted us had nothing to do with what we were discussing.

It is quite common to feel unwell when this happens. Pausing a speech can be quite frustrating. It’s something most of us have gone through in our youth. At the time, we felt as if the world was a strange place to which we simply did not adapt.

We need to clarify one thing. Suspension occurs in both directions. This means that you yourself can be the person who interrupts other people’s conversation. It is possible that you will not even notice this thing yourself, but we can assure you that it will make others feel very uncomfortable. If you want to improve your interpersonal and social interaction skills, it is essential that you develop your conscious listening skills.

What conscious listening is

Psychologist Inmaculada Domínguez has studied this topic. Next, we focus on his research and try to better explain what conscious listening is all about. As you can infer, conscious listening refers to a listening technique that we actively and voluntarily use. It is influenced by many factors, such as respecting and paying attention to other people and showing mutual affection and empathy.

Conscious listening skills mean letting another person talk and paying attention to what he or she is saying instead of interrupting him or her. Conscious listening also means asking appropriate questions so that the other person feels understood. Conscious listening shows attentiveness and a genuine interest in our interlocutor. In addition, it means opening our hearts and minds so that we are able to appreciate another person’s opinion.

One thing is for sure: the way we contact other people has changed over time. Today, it is common for us to live such a busy life that we are unable to devote our time to listening to the people around us. This directly affects our relationships. We need to think about the importance of the skill of conscious listening in daily social interaction.

How a lack of conscious listening affects our relationships

People are social beings, which means that we are happy to make relationships with other people. We like to be heard and understood. If someone feels that another person doesn’t care what we have to say, their feelings will automatically be offended. No one likes to be surrounded by people who don’t show interest in him.

Unfortunately, this is happening a lot and the situation has worsened with the increasing use of new technology. Today, we spend so much time on the phone that we don’t detect all the elements we should consider in real-life conversations. In fact, it may well be the case that groups of friends get together but only spend time on their phones watching what is happening on their social networks instead of spending time in a face-to-face conversation… What is the purpose of getting together in that case?

People today are more aware of what is happening on social media channels compared to what is happening in the real life around them. Our obsession with posting on the web everything we do has led to this phenomenon. The sad side of this is that social channels consume our intellectual resources, while the people around us develop our intellectual resources. The people around us expect us to be able to listen to them in this time and place.

How the skill of conscious listening can be developed

If you want to improve your quality of life, your relationships with other people, and grow as a person, develop your conscious listening skills and you will notice the difference.

Here are some things that can help you develop your conscious listening skills:

• Start meditating. This is a way to control the wandering of the mind and be aware of what is going on around you. Meditation allows you to focus on the present. With the right breathing technique and relaxation exercises, you will find that you are able to stop the hurricane in your mind and be able to focus on one thing at a time.
• Watch holistically instead of just listening with your ears. Make observations about the positions of another person’s body. However, be careful not to invade another person’s territory. Body language is important when it comes to how we express our understanding to another person.

• Do not interrupt others.  If you need to ask questions, wait a good while to ask them.
• Conscious listening does not mean paying attention only to the words expressed by another person. It also means observing the gestures and facial expressions of the interlocutor.

Conscious listening is an expression of respect for the speaker and other people. The skill of conscious listening makes the speaker feel heard and accepted.