Are Hard-to-reach Women More Attractive?

Hard-to-reach women create barriers for men trying to win their love. Traditionally, this attitude makes a man more interested in a woman, so “easy” women don’t appeal to men as much. But is this really the case?

Let us first make it clear that there are no pre-agreed rules in love and relationships. We fall in love without making a long list of reasons why we fall in love. But during the flirting phase, however, there seem to be patterns that people repeat time and time again. And these patterns mean that hard-to-reach women seem more attractive than men. But this is not always the case, of course.

Studies have been conducted on this topic. Instead of looking for the perfect recipe to conquer another person’s heart, experts have looked at how people react to certain stimuli and how the relationship progresses. We will next look at what the experts are saying about this.

An old test of women’s “ease”

Dr. Elaine Walster of the University of Wisconsin conducted a somewhat rudimentary experiment in 1973. She wanted to know if men were more interested in hard-to-reach women than others.

Walster and his partner hired a prostitute for the experiment, who they asked to behave reluctantly with some clients, and more closely with others.

They found that in these circumstances, men were less interested when the prostitute was more affectionate and loving. Some men lost interest in the woman almost immediately.

They conducted the same experiment with a dating service with women, and the results were the same. The only difference was that in this case, men were more interested in those women who selectively presented what was difficult to achieve, i.e., women who were reluctant toward other men but willing toward them.

Struggle and desires

Today, society believes that the harder something is to get, the more valuable it is. This fact has also been featured in social psychology: people value being more part of a group that is harder to reach. Some also say that men love challenges.

Neuroscience suggests that women also like challenges, as the challenges provide additional excitement to the situation.

Dr. Robert Weiss, vice president of Elements Behavioral Health , points out that  both men and women use developed strategies to challenge their potential partner during the flirting phase. However, these strategies are different for men and women.

Usually, women present what is difficult to achieve by presenting a fictitious lack of interest, replying to text messages half an hour after receiving the message, and the fact that they are not available at all from time to time. Men, on the other hand, try to make women feel jealous.

Women who are difficult to reach (or present)

If a person seems difficult to reach, it doesn’t always mean he or she is flirting. Some people just can’t avoid making things harder during the flirting phase. Some behave this way because they are insecure about themselves and fear being hurt. Usually this attitude is noticeable, and then the other party stays away.

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology shows that a paradigm that is difficult to achieve only works when a man is genuinely interested in that woman. When a woman is hard to reach, it adds interest but doesn’t create it.

Sometimes, however, there is no previous interest. In such a case, presenting the hard-to-achieve rather tends to lower the motivation of the “suitor”. No one wants to bother with something they aren’t even sure if they want it. In such cases, availability and proximity can then act as a spark that ignites the flame.