After Disappointing You Have A Hard Time Following Your Instincts

You’ve probably been disappointed with your instinct many times after it has led you to a dead end. If you start to think more about these disappointments, you may find that your suspicions are much related to the disappointments you have experienced in your life.

When things don’t go the way you plan in social life, one thing is clear: sometimes you can’t anticipate everything. Sometimes you’re wrong and sometimes you’re right without you meaning it. However, being right is not always positive.

How often do you instill something? I knew it in advance! I told you so! When what your instincts tell you in your life, you are happy. Your instinct is a kind of fast (and built-in) compass. After all, we can anticipate some things. Not everything is approximate and not everything is lost at all.

When instinct deceives us, we feel helpless

Try to imagine the moment you feel when your instincts are wrong. It showed no predictors, was tested, and did not pass the test. You wonder in your mind what exactly happened. You were just moving forward so confident and confident and suddenly you were hit on the ground. How was that really possible?

When your instincts deceive, some of you will feel helpless. If you have an uncertain compass that doesn’t separate from north to south, navigating becomes uncertain in this unpredictable life. Especially if you are looking for genuine relationships with honesty. You want relationships where the other person is not a means to an end, but an end in itself. You are looking for a way to connect with other people that is genuine and real.

At this point you will experience the bitterness of disappointment. Reality strikes hard on our credulity. You shouldn’t feel naive because you trust the part of yourself that makes sense without telling you how. Don’t think you’re stupid because you believe and trust your instincts again. You just have to remember that disappointments happen. They are part of the spirit of the game. They are part of you yourself and your decision-making strategies. They will never be perfect.

The idea of ​​a just world is a delusion that you should be aware of

You can’t predict the future because you almost never have all the information you need available. On the other hand, you have limited resources that can’t record everything when there is a lot of information available and there are several different options available. When you imagine or interpret reality, a series of filters and preconceptions activate in your mind. One of these filters has to do with your tendency to believe that we live in a just world. You believe this especially when you feel lucky. As a result, you consider the world a much fairer place than it actually is.

We believe, or at least want to believe, that good things happen to good people. Similarly, we also want to believe that bad things only happen to bad people. It seems as if the world is following some sort of destiny or silent justice where we all get what we deserve. However, this idea, which has so much impact on our minds, often does not come true. It’s like a law with too many exceptions.

Sometimes life reveals its teeth to us and reminds us what it really is: unpredictable. Or at least it’s much less predictable than it would be if a saying like “the world is fair” worked all the time.  As a result, no instinct can predict certain consequences. You trust that someone will be fair to you and behave according to their values. You trust him and then you are greatly disappointed.

Trust means taking risks. That is why it requires so much courage

Life is not what it was supposed to be, or at least not the moment it gets to completely surprise you. You are unprepared and your defense mechanisms have weakened. Just when you start believing and trusting again, life hits you on the cheek. Your heart is broken. You will see your dreams shatter before your eyes.

In the blink of an eye, everything that was stable is suddenly unstable. What was gray is now black, and white turned gray.  You feel like stepping on a ship in the middle of a storm. You need courage in these moments when it’s hard to put your feet on the ground and resume normal activities.

We are talking about a student who is studying hard but fails nonetheless. On the one hand, there is a victim of intimate partner abuse, on the other there is a daughter who is watching her dying mother, or a man who stays put when the doctor tells her that her daughter’s heart has just stopped beating. We are talking about a city that is suffering from a terrorist attack. It is caused by the hands of a person who says that human life is not number one in the hierarchy.

We cannot anticipate everything

Instinct comes into the picture when it is able to perceive patterns. This makes it easier to anticipate the behavior of people we know. Instinct can cause very unpleasant feelings, but on the other hand also very nice feelings. It can also act as a kind of inner voice that tells us to run when it’s needed, or on the other hand, to stop at what we’re doing.

So if you feel unexpectedly and heavily deceived by life, don’t blame your instinct for it. The simple fact is that we simply cannot anticipate everything. We don’t live in a fair world where all the cards are on the table in front of us.

You can still build a fair world for yourself by being genuine and sincere yourself. When someone is genuine, he or she is trustworthy and predictable. You always know what you’re dealing with. It’s your choice (and only yours) if you want to trust another person or turn away from him. The conclusion from this is that you should not blame your instincts for your failure. Making a mistake is part of your instinct just as much as it is a part of yourself.