A Heartbreaking Love Poem For A Man With Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a type of anxiety disorder that manipulates thoughts, feelings, and behavior. One of the most limiting symptoms of people with this disorder is the compelling need to constantly repeat words, thoughts, or actions to alleviate the anxiety caused by their reasoning and feelings.

But what are these obsessions? They are thoughts, images, or impulses that are repetitive, tenacious, or absurd. They are also involuntary or egodystonic in nature (unpleasant or intrusive). They are not overly concerned about real problems, but fears that arise from anticipated or unlikely problems. They are capable of causing significant anxiety even though the person himself is able to recognize these thought processes as coming from his own head.

Another term included in the definition of this disorder is “compulsion,” or coercive action. Compulsive behavior can be understood as repetitive behavior that occurs as a result of a compulsive thought, according to certain rules, or in a stereotypical way. It does not have an ultimate goal, but rather is intended to produce or prevent certain situations or circumstances. This type of “solving” is not rational (opening and closing the car door x times), or if it is, it is a clearly disproportionate solution to the problem (washing hands x times).

Let’s look at an illustrative example of this obsession-compulsion duo. A person with obsessive-compulsive disorder may be driving a car when suddenly the thought comes to him that something bad might happen to his family. He knows this feeling is the product of his own mind, but he feels the need to bite the car window three times in a row “to prevent anything from happening to them”. This is irrational reasoning, but a compulsive stimulus, along with resistance, makes a person act like this. The function itself is not pleasant, but it effectively reduces his anxiety at that moment.

A heartbreaking and emotional poem of a man with obsessive-compulsive disorder

Love and heartache are deep feelings that all, or almost all, of us have experienced or would like to experience. But very little is said about how people with obsessive-compulsive disorder experience love and heartbreak.

We believe that these emotions form one of the basic pillars of a person’s emotional experience. So if it is true that it is impossible to describe or theorize such a unique emotional experience, the fact that someone shares their knowledge with the whole world, aware of their own illness, helps us get closer to them and validate their experience.

It cannot be easy for a person with OCD or their partner. Neil Hilborn makes this clear in his poem. He is a writer and poet from the United States with an obsessive-compulsive disorder who wanted to give a voice to what happened in his mind when he fell in love. He also talks about what the difference meant to him and his daily compulsive thoughts and activities.

The first time I saw him…
Everything in my head fell silent.
All the ticit, all the constantly recurring imagery just disappeared.
When you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, your head never really goes silent.

Even in bed I wondered:
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.

But when I saw him, the only thing I could think of was that her lips neulansilmämutka …
Or poskella- reps
reps poskella-
reps cheek.

I knew I had to talk to him.
I asked him out six times in half a minute.
He said yes after the third time, but none of them felt right, so I had to move on.

On our first dates, I spent more time arranging my food by color than eating it, or even talking to him.
But he loved it.
He loved the fact that I would have to kiss him goodbye sixteen or twenty-four times if it was Wednesday.
He loved the fact that it took me an eternity to walk home because there are a lot of cracks in the sidewalk.

When we moved in, he said he felt safe that no one would ever rob us because I certainly locked the door eighteen times.

Whenever I looked at her mouth when she puhui-
when he puhui-
when he talked about
when he talked;
when he said he loved me, the edges of his mouth curled.

In the evenings he lay in bed and watched as I turned off all the lights… and turned on them, turned off them, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguisher, lighter, extinguished, extinguished, extinguished lighter, fire extinguisher, lighter, fire extinguisher.
He closed his eyes and imagined that day and night varied in front of him.
Some mornings I started saying goodbye to him with a kiss, but he just disappeared because otherwise he would be late for work…

When I stopped at the crack of the sidewalk, he just kept walking…
When he said he loved me, his mouth was a straight line.
He said I took too much of his time.

Last week, he started sleeping with his mother.
He told me he shouldn’t let me cling to him so much that the whole thing was a mistake, but…
How can it be a mistake when I don’t have to wash my hands when I touch him?

Love is not a mistake, and it eats me inside that he can only escape this and I do not.
I can’t – I can’t go out in search of something new because I always think of him.
Usually when things bully me, I see bacteria crawling into my skin.

I see an endless queue of cars driving over me…
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck in.
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way he holds the steering wheel…

How he turns the shower faucet like opening a safe.
How does he blow candles to the extinguishers—
blow the candles to the extinguishers—
blow the candles to the extinguishers—
blow the candles to the extinguishers—
blow the candles to the extinguishers—
blow the candles…

Now I just wonder who else is kissing him.
I can’t breathe because a man kisses her only once – no matter if it’s perfect!
I want him back so hard…
I leave the door unlocked.
I leave the lights on.

Author: Neil Hilborn

How to live with an OCD sufferer?

Those living with a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder need to understand that the person with the disorder does not control their obsessive thoughts and actions. A person with OCD may or may not know that his thoughts and actions are irrational, but he is unable to control them without help.

You should not criticize an OCD sufferer or try to prevent him or her from performing his or her routines. This can increase his stress and open an even deeper wound. You cannot persuade him to think or act differently; it is important to treat him patiently and gently.

You should not be part of his rituals. Support should be a part of every day, and you should not hide or allow passive ways of communicating to stifle understanding and acceptance. Some writers talk about how boundaries can be negotiated with an OCD sufferer in the following way: “Because I love you, I do not engage in harmful behavior”; “I know it’s hard and it might hurt your mind, but it’s better if I don’t perform this ritual for you”; “The doctor told me not to attend, and he knows what he’s talking about, we’ve decided to rely on his judgment.”

Finally, we cannot conclude this article without emphasizing the need to seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of OCD. In this way, the person with OCD and their loved ones receive help from a professional who can help them manage the situation and improve their daily lives.