5 Things You Can Learn From The Unexpected Difference

The difference is an extremely painful experience. It is even worse if one party is still deeply in love with their partner while the other is not. Love can bring a lot of beautiful things to life, but it can also bring suffering.  It’s like the other side of the coin. There is no one without the other, and if you don’t know how to deal with it, it will break you from the inside.

There are some people who manage to get rid of their inconsistent beliefs about love, relationships, and emotional ties. They are almost always the kind of beliefs our culture and society have given us. These beliefs do not give way to the idea that love can bring suffering. But the Buddha also said that ignorance is the cause of all psychological suffering.

Likewise, a large number of thinkers and spiritual teachers have researched the matter and are convinced of the importance of thinking right and not feeling bad. This is also true of the world of relationships. Are we ignorant of love? Maybe we are, although it’s hard to say for sure. Clearly, we all need to learn to manage things about love and relationships much better. Let’s look at this a little deeper.

Suffering for love

People suffer too much because of love, it is a sad truth. Even those people who tell you how perfect a partner they have are deep in doubt. Most have little fear of the future of their relationship.

Who would never have suffered while being with the wrong person, felt less drawn than the other party, or gone through an unexpected difference? Nothing is more sensitive than love. Nor is anything as beautiful, nor as vital to our lives, as love. There are even people who say that if you don’t love anyone, it’s the same as not living at all.

Therefore, the surprising difference is as if you watch your plans disappear into the horizon. You feel like you want to die. Despair and unbelief take over you. You feel confused and paralyzed. You feel empty.

Rationalizing love?

Some say love cannot be “understood”. It is something that must be known and enjoyed because there is no logic in romance. Such an emotional attitude is more than naive, it is dangerous.

One of the main causes of “pet disease” is the same irrational, unrealistic beliefs we have developed about relationships. False thoughts about love are one of the greatest sources of relationship suffering.

But should love be rationalized? Yes, but only to the extent that it ceases to poison. Love is not just something to enjoy. It is also something you need as part of your belief and value system. You need to organize and regulate it to make it closer and friendlier to your nerve cells. You need to teach it how to fly, instead of cutting its wings.

What can we learn from the unexpected difference

If you “understand” love and its logic, you can also “understand” heartache. There are a lot of things that can cause it. If you see it coming, you will be better prepared to get rid of it. But what happens if it’s completely unexpected?

This is probably one of the most destructive things that can happen in life. However, you can learn from everything that happens to you. There are some valuable lessons that can be gained from an unexpected difference and they will help you grow. Here are some of them:

Nothing lasts forever

That is the simple truth. That is the fact of life. Everything has a beginning and an end. Some things end quickly and some things take a long time, but everything ends at some point. Couples may divorce after losing their passion, due to different goals or communication problems. Of course, there are also couples who stay together for the rest of their lives. But when one of them dies, the magic magic is over. There is no way to avoid it.

You can’t control everything

Some people try to control every thing their partner does. They think that if they always pay attention, they can avoid the difference. But that is not the case. There are some things that can’t be changed, no matter how much you want them. If your partner wants to leave you, he will do so no matter what you do.

You can live without a partner

Living without a partner is one option in life, as is living with someone. They are both good options. They both have their advantages and disadvantages. Everyone knows the benefits that come with a partner. After all, not having a partner does not mean rejecting love forever.

You can find love in many different ways. Your well-being should not depend on anyone else.

Life is unpredictable (or at least not as predictable as thought)

This has a lot to do with control. As you go through the unexpected difference you realize that everything in life is impossible to predict. You can make plans for the future and you should, but you should always remember that unexpected things will inevitably happen.

Nothing is as horrible as you think

It’s good to learn to put things in perspective. Is it horrible to experience an unexpected difference? What are the really horrible things in your life? Your partner who leaves you is not a horrible thing, it always has some very clear reasons. Horrible things are incurable disease, world war, the tragic death of someone you love. These things are terrible, and it is often difficult to find any (rational) reason for them.

You may think that if your partner leaves you, your life will lose all meaning. You worry that you can’t go on with your life, that you get stuck in a bottomless well. It might really be like that at first. But gradually the  situation normalizes by itself, and you rise to the top.  I promise that.