5 Mistakes Parents Make With Their Children
“ Because my mother never let me eat chocolate, I buy my little girl a little every day,” “My father gave me house arrest if I didn’t study, so I let my own son do what he wants in school.” Do these sound familiar?
In today’s world, parents are surrounded by countless guides that tell you how to handle this important job ideally; however, just perfect exercise makes perfect and in the real world it is not always easy to implement the advice that seems so excellent.
In fact, quite certainly you too had to experience some kind of “injustice” when you were a child. It is possible that you also swore that you would never do the same to your own children. Maybe you’re succeeding here, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing your kids a favor or otherwise good.
Did you know that half of the self-help books available in bookstores deal with how to be a good parent? Apparently, the fear of making mistakes or repeating past mistakes is so strong that it determines what adults read.
But beware, and don’t confuse making mistakes with failure. After all, or in the beginning, no one is born wise. One of the most common mistakes parents make is protecting their children from the “suffering” they themselves experienced in their childhood. This is because we tend to think negatively about those things even though in reality our parents “did it for our own good ”.
For example, if our mother did not allow us to eat chocolate indefinitely or every day, it was not because she is the embodiment of evil. It was because such a method would have caused perforated teeth, overweight and other problems. If our father asked if we did well in school, it was because he couldn’t allow us to take our studies for granted.
Studies show that we inherit not only genetics from our parents, but also traumas and emotional traits, and therefore it is quite possible that we will end up passing this legacy on to the next generation. If we forget the usual advice and doctrines you heard when you were a child and are sure to repeat it to your own children, it often happens that our children end up suffering the consequences of our childhood problems.
The most typical “Déjà vut” from childhood
“Ask for it and get it”
You poke guilt in leaving them all day to go to work, so you buy them whatever they come up with to ask for and bend to their every whim, whatever it takes. Because you are not present when they are raised, it feels like you should somehow ‘cleanse’ yourself of this fall. But how? With gifts.
“The teacher has something against him”
Before, it was more like you got a punishment if you brought home a bad grade. But nowadays, when this happens, parents head out to talk badly with the teacher and demand an explanation as to why this is resetting their child’s efforts. Do not try to absolve yourself of responsibility for the situation by thinking that the teacher is against your child or that it is not your child’s fault if he or she is not studying .
“Let them watch TV”
This is one of those scourges of modern life that our parents may not have had to face as strongly and palpably. I did so because years ago there weren’t as many programs, as many video games, social media sites, websites, etc.
You may have been angry with your parents one time or another because they sent you to your room to study without letting you watch TV. Now you then sadly allow your children to sit in front of the screen for hours in the tube as it also lightens the burden of caring for them.
“They know I love them”
It’s never a bad time to express your feelings to the people you care about. When they’re small, it’s easier to tell them they’re the light of your life, your eyeballs, and how you love them and so on, but over time that habit disappears.
For example, when they reach adolescence, children often ask their parents to restrain or stop their overflowing expressions of love because it embarrasses them. Nevertheless, it is very important that you continue to express your love.
“They only understand when I punish them”
Putting your children in custody might be a quick way to get your child to avoid repeating whatever evil he or she ever did. But… How long will that teaching last?
If they know that a few days later you will forget the whole thing and let them do anything, your words will not weigh very much in their ears.
